That wasn't a Goodbye
by EffectivlyInLove
Summary: "She couldn't have said goodbye to him, that would mean going away, forever, never seeing each other again." Zutara


The ship had left the harbor over ten minutes ago. Katara is still at the back of the boat, her hand still raised in a nonmoving wave. Her tears streak down her face; at first they were slow and inconsistent, now they move so freely and streak down her face, ruining any kind of makeup she tried to apply earlier in the day. She knew just exactly walking on this boat meant for her, her future, Aang. She just didn't know how much it would hurt to say goodbye. _Fifteen more minutes and you're done. No more tears, ever. _

First five minutes she spent in hysterics, hidden away in her room, which had a window looking out to the back of the boat. Growing up she never _ever_ once imagined she'd be crying over the Fire Lord. But here she was, staring out of her bedroom window, thinking about all the things she could have said… All the things she would have said… And the things she knows she should have said. "I like you, a lot" is the first of it. "Goodbye" being the last. She couldn't have said goodbye to him; that would mean going away, forever, never seeing each other again and she couldn't imagine a world without Zuko. He was the one that made her smile and blush uncontrollably. He was the one who made her feel safest, even when he was her enemy and was hunting her. Zuko was the one and only man to own her heart and soul. But instead of her being with him, being happy, she was leaving with the Avatar. Why? She didn't really know, and if it were up to her, she would have never gotten on this boat. But the whole world expected Katara to go with Aang, even if she didn't want to. She had never even told Zuko that she had the same feelings as him, she wasn't even sure he had known. She never would get to hold him, tell him she loved him. Kiss him even. She would never feel his touch again, never hear his voice. And she knew that now even if she did see him, she would be "with" Aang, and he would be moved on.

The next five minutes she was less hysterical, but she continued to let her tears fall freely as she asked herself many questions. "_How could she have been so stupid?_" was the one she found herself asking the most. How could she have not realized that Zuko genuinely cared for her, and for so long too. How could she have not said anything all that time? Why didn't she just say what was on her mind? Especially since Toph had told her about Zuko's feelings. That he "really, really, really" liked her. If she had told him, would they be together right now? Would his arm be around her waist? Would she be smiling instead of crying? Would he be laughing and happy instead of sulking around in his office? Was he sulking around in his office? What was he thinking? Why didn't he just tell her about _his_ feelings? She would have told him, if he had just told her first. Why was she even on this god's forsaken boat? She knew she didn't love Aang like he loved her, and she knew she never could. Why couldn't she just let herself be happy for once? Did she seek unhappiness in life? Was that her goal?

As a result the next five minutes she spent answering her own questions. She wasn't stupid, she was a coward. She did see that he cared, but she didn't process it for more than she thought it was worth, because she had been hurt too many times before. When Toph told her, she thought it was just a sick joke to make her heart race, so she didn't take it too seriously. She couldn't have, she wasn't a lie detector like Toph. If she had told him, she knew for sure she wouldn't be on this boat staring out a window that shows nothing more than a very faraway place. She wouldn't be crying, and He would be happy. Right now, he might be sulking in his office, or sulking while having tea with Uncle Iroh. He could quite possibly be thinking "She's gone, time to move the hell on." He didn't tell her because of the same reason she didn't tell him, fear of being rejected. She was on this god's forsaken boat because she thought she had a duty to a boy who loved her, but she couldn't love back. Katara found her tears were beginning to slow down, and took a deep breath. She looked out the window and realized she had two choices in her life, being a house wife to a man she would never love, or being the girl who left the avatar and found true love and happiness. With that her tears dried and she began to write two letters.

_**Dear Aang,**_

_**I never thought this was how this will end, but I'm going to jump off this ship, and swim to the Fire Nation. I cannot and will not surrender my happiness to play house wife. You will find someone who you'll love, and she'll love you back, I promise. I just wasn't the right girl, my heart belongs to a different man, and I think Fate would rather let me be with him than let me be unhappy. I know this is the coward's way out, but we're less than 15 minutes away from the Fire Nation, and I don't want to hurt you more than this. I know, I'm an awful person, please forgive me in the future, but know I will be so happy. **_

_**-Katara**_

_**Dear Fire Lord Zuko,**_

_**There are a lot of things I want to say. And I should probably say them in person, but, don't move on just yet, alright? I'm leaving this boat as soon as I finish this letter, and I will be at the Palace before the sun sets. Don't worry for me, I'll be there and we'll talk alright?**_

_**-Katara**_

Katara finished her letters, sealed them with ribbons, and walked to where Aang's bedroom was. She knocked on the door and got no response. Katara opened the door as she walked in, and found his nightstand. She left the letter there and smiled. She was finally free. Katara walked on deck and found a messenger hawk. "Take this to Fire Lord Zuko." She said, almost giggling with her new found freedom. The hawk took off and Katara looked around for crew men. There were a few, but they weren't paying attention to her. She stepped up on the ledge of the ship and called for the water below her. It sucked her in and she swam as fast as she could to the harbor.

When Katara arrived, there was still one person there that had been there when she left, almost forty five minutes ago. She looked up at the dock in awe, because there he was. Standing with a scowl and his hand still raised. _Did the hawk deliver the message to the palace? Did he read it yet? _She thought to herself. "ZUKO!" she called from the water, startling the Fire Lord himself. "KATARA!" He yelled right back at her, shocked to see her swimming in the water. He could have sworn she was on that boat. He reached his hand down to her and hoisted her up on to the dock. "What are you doing here?" He said, still not believing that she was there in front of him soaking wet. Cerulean Blue met Golden Brown; she smiled and closed her eyes. Then she leaned up and crushed her lips to his. He was stunned but shut his eyes and snaked his arms around her waist. Somehow she found her arms wrapping around his neck as her knees went weak. They didn't break the kiss until they were both deprived of too much oxygen. This was the beginning of happily ever after, Katara just knew it.

**A/N: This is crap, i know. But I wont be here for the rest of Zutara week, so heres some kinda Zutara for just because. I basically fell off the face of the eart and came back with a crappy story. Eh, sorry. I just wanted to do something... *Scracthes back of neck awakardly*... Basically, I'm un inspired to wirte anything, always on tumblr, and reading... I just read Divergent... Most amazing thing EVER. Okay... Um.. yeah... Review if you like... Bye.**


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